I find the three T's to be very important in everyday life. Whether you are in the midst of strangers or sitting around with family, friends, or coworkers. This strategy tends to relieve any tensions that may arise.
'T' can stand for touch - talk - or tolerance.
You my be in an Elevator that is "stuck", or on a checkout line when a real slowpoke holds everything up, or just sitting in a busy waiting room.
I am a talker. So this is no problem for me. I will talk to anybody but myself. (unless I'm alone).
This has given me the ability to calm myself also. Conversation opens the door; it breaks the ice that so many of us feel if alone or in a crowd anywhere.
[ASIDE] I will share a story with you: ..... many years ago while commuting on the Long Island Railroad, a breakdown caused several delays and cancellations, and this caused very crowded cars on the train. I was on the platform waiting and watching as the doors began to close in front of me. The train was packed! A young lady standing practically in the doorway said ".. come on, we can fit you in ... ", well, the man next to her put out his hand and between the two they squeezed me in; as the train begrudgingly pulled out (it was obviously over its weight limit). Everyone stood in silence hoping we would make it through the tunnel and under the Hudson River. As we neared the tunnel, you could hear a pin drop and we all silently prayed we would make it under the river. Well, my big mouth had to open up!! Squeezed between the young lady and the gentlemen, I looked up at him and said "... we get any closer we will have to get married... "! WELL, that broke the silence and the entire car erupted into laughter. Talking immediately started and you could feel the relaxation. (PS we made it under the River)!
One can 'touch' another either by feel, words or by action, either way is good. Touching gives us a sense of warmth, a sense of not being alone. When standing on a long line, talking to others on line can also ease the atmosphere. One would be surprised at the reaction of others as they return words.
Tolerance also comes into play with any scenario. We tolerate each other. We show understanding of the individual apprehension and tension. We are actually reaching out to share the moment with others. No matter the Ethnic or Skin color. As long as we are not alone.
A young woman in her early twenties, and learning disabled, was on line at the Supermarket. (Her grandmother was waiting in the seating area). She noticed the woman on line behind her became fidgety, started looking confused and pale, and began speaking in a foreign language. The young girl immediately realized something was wrong. The woman kept saying in English "... no hospital ...". So the young lady started to talking to her softly and gently, helping her to sit on the nearest spot. Eventually a family member showed up and thanked the young lady for her help. She had obviously saved the day by calming the woman. It appeared to be a Cardiac problem. A touching hand, a warm soft voice, and the day was saved.
Sharing will always promote friendship; share a drink, a ride, or a word. Either way only good can come from it. Much the same as "..... pass it on .....".
I reach for my cell phone only when necessary or important. Casual conversations can wait. They are not important. Make contact with those in and around your space. It will always avoid or ease tension.
Have a good day. ..... PASS IT ON or TALK TO THE NEIGHBOR.
Jean Frances Coulard 11/10/19